I sit here, on the couch, watching the local news, snagging the wifi signal, and connecting to the outside world. The weather is hot, sticky, moist, with a dense fog, so I was not able to go to the beach to watch the sun rise this morning.

I look out the glass door to see the remains of the tree that fell in the microburst 5 days ago.

My biggest decision today is beach or pool? As the sun is not supposed to break thru the fog until afternoon, and then showers are possible, I might choose the pool, which then leaves me to decide what bathing suit to wear.

How fabulous to not have anything else to think about. I could get very used to doing absolutely nothing. I originally planned this week to be driving around the American Mid West, but my struggle with pneumonia, and the continued weakness that I have, unable to walk even a mile, left me with no choice but to spend several days just as I am.

I have been working a lot this past few weeks, and really should be planning my one week holiday at my camp, in an exclusive gated community on the southern seacoast of Maine, a lovely wooded site, as well as planning my one week on the road NOT chasing a Famous Rock Band, as I sometimes do get there first.

But I digress. I have had feelings of doom and gloom for several weeks now. Ever since I left my flooded basement back in March to go to Nashville for the 4th of 10 concerts by the same Band in one month, I have been plagued by feeling like the entire world's future hinges on me.

I leave a flood, go to Nashville, and then they get a flood. I plan to drive my car, my friend accidently dents my car, see? I am the center of the universe.

So, I wanted to go to above stated gated summer holiday community earlier this week, pack the cats, and commute to work, thus extending my holiday by a few hours, but the chiropractor, Dentist, and hair solon and a trip to Walmart with my Mother occupied the time I had free, so here I mope at home.

I receive a scary text this thursday afternoon. Bad Storm just blew thru, and there was damage, and it involved one of my trees.

Just missed everything, landing where my car would have been parked, should I have had the day off, but I was luckily at work.

No one was hurt, but the top of the large white pine landed on someone elses camp, destroying it.

Photos both courtesy of MaryH, who notified me of this tragic event,
My heart breaks for the family that owns this, and especially for the little boys who love their camp. A camp almost thirty years old, four generations of use, gone with a gust, and a downpour.

No one was hurt.

I am still looking forward to my summer holiday, but with a heavy heart, how can I have fun when this is what I will see out my front window?

Life goes on.

Tuesday Afternoon

So, after a week of my calling Verizon complaining that my Modem is not working, and responding answers that my line was Ok, and my continued request for a new Modem, it finally arrived after 6pm.

I had to reconfigure everything to get all my gadgets to work, forgetting to start with my new laptop, that I bought myself yesterday to console myself for being internet deprived for a week, with only spotty contact with the outside world when at work. Lucky me I had to work 8 of the last 9 days, huh?

So I am back online, and resetting all my favorite sites and passwords, again.

It was all so much easier when I had a 2 gig desk top with AOL dial up running at 9 bauds.

Remember that?

I prefer it all this way, now, really I do.

The best part was when I requested that my week of no internet be reflected in my next bill. I was gently reminded that I had free internet at this time. I not so gently reminded them that they contracted to provide me with internet, and that my use or non use at my discretion was my option, but by their neglect of a prompt solution to my easily resolveable problem was their responsibility, and that an additional week of free internet was owed to me, and that if I did not see a credit on my next account I would call back, frequently, until I did see the credit.

I can not wait for the next bill.

Please, someone tell me why I have troubles to overcome whenever I have time restrictions to my life? or is it that I ignore everything I need to do, putting everything off until tomorrow, and now that tomorrow is today, I have to do all of yesterday's work, as well as today's and tomorrow's again.

Why am I surrounded by incompetent dolts? Am I am incompetent dolt?

Maybe I should resume my hormonal supplements.

I need a vacation. I need a bag of money. The vacation is on it's way, the money is not. I suppose if I stayed home I would have more time and money to myself, but where is the fun in that?

Getting sick after my last foray out of the real world has made this next one seem unreal, surrealistic, and distant, but now it looms, and my list of things to get to has grown longer, nothing was gotten to, and time runs out.

I need someone to run my life without telling me what to do. The voices in my head are not as helpful as they once were.

And just when did I get old? I admit I am younger than other people, but I am no longer young and vital. It hurts to get out of bed and go to work on the weekends now. It hurts to get out of bed every day.

So, I smile and get through the day, taking care of other people's needs, while ignoring my own, and as it all comes crashing down around me, I solomnly swear to never put off anything again, unless I can get to it tomorrow, with a clearer head, and a rested mind.

A typical weekend in the life of me. My internet goes out just when I need it for last minute travel plans, and I have to wrok, when it is 90 degrees. Why do I have a summer Holiday Camp in an exclusive gated community on the southern seacoast of Maine?

Why do I have to work to have nice things when I can never use them because I work?


Why do I wish I was in Detroit right now?

Taking a leap into the next dimension.